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TATTOOED!

I got my first tattoo! Whooo!

I was visiting Minneapolis to see Kris and got one at The Rose of No Man's Land. Here it is, the morning after I got it. It's all red and slathered in petroleum jelly and weepy. Enjoy!
st tat 1

I just took this on photo booth with my mac. Less red and swollen, but I still can't get the adhesive gunk from my bandage off. As you can see, it somewhere located somewhere between my bosom and the field of beauty marks (Melanocytic nevi) across my clavicle.
st tat 2

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I'm as happy as Voldo!
voldo

Also, Kris and Amy forced me to start watching Torchwood and Russell T Davies compelled me to continue watching Torchwood. I'm up to the first couple episodes of season two and all I have to say is I will be sorely fucking disappointed if at some point there isn't a sex scene between Captain Jack and Ianto. Sorely fucking disappointed. You can't have the most attractive, well-dressed errand boy running around the compound, or bat cave or whatever they call it, and not have someone boning him. It's cruel.

JLB

le jeez

I have so much slash to catch up on because for the last month I've been incommunicado from LJ. There were weddings, work, pretending to write original fiction and so much shopping. (I was seriously depleted in the clothing area.) So apologies, LJ people. I promise to read all your things in time. Especially you, what_alchemy. :D

There fic irons in the fire and it's sort of uncomfortable, so I'd like to get those done. And I'll list them here so I remember them.

-fisting (bribe for what_alchemy
-there was going to be something to bribe theordainedfish to continue her obscenely amazing mirrorverse fic, but I can no longer remember. maybe she could remind me?
-modern collegey AU with gay!Spock and gay!Jim, with drama and slut shame and comedy!
-a S/U/K that I've been working on for a while with actual angst and the destruction of the S/U relationship because of the /K that comes along!
-also sort-of-predatory!Pike and sort-of-naif!Spock thing I was working on with theordainedfish

But on the plus side, check out these goddamn sexy slutty bondage shoes I got.

shoes

shoershoel

shoew

Fuckin' A.

St fic: Wonderful 7/9

Title: Wonderful
Author: baehj2915
Pairing: K/S, nuTrek
Rating: NC-17, eventually, for sex and swearing.
Disclaimer: Know nothing, own nothing, I don’t mean anything by this, etc., etc. ST XI and vague references to TOS.
Summary/Warnings: Jim is harried and discombobulated; Spock is more so. Storyline quagmire! Inconvenient cockblocking! Gender nonsense, bad translations and repressed emotions within. Romancing to follow. (Also, Spock speaks a scrambly non-Vulcan version of Vulcan.)

Spock and Jim, exploring
Spock, begrudging
Jim, pushing
Spock, naked
Jim, lucky
Spock, swamped


And Spock would help me undress and give me sponge baths.Collapse )

Sorry about the long gap between updates! I had so many things happening, so many non-internet slash things! I have a lot of slash to catch up on, so if you have any recs, I'd love it!

Thanks for reading! :D :D :D

JLB

ST fic: Wonderful 6/?

Title: Wonderful
Author: baehj2915
Pairing: K/S, nuTrek
Rating: NC-17, eventually, for sex and swearing.
Disclaimer: Know nothing, own nothing, I don’t mean anything by this, etc., etc. ST XI and vague references to TOS.
Summary/Warnings: Spock gets slapped by emotions, water. And he pontificates about the color blue, also Jim's manties. Gender nonsense, bad translations and repressed emotions within. Romancing to follow. (Also, I speculated, aka "made up things," about Vulcan culture. Hope that's cool.)

Spock and Jim, exploring
Spock, begrudging
Jim, pushing
Spock, naked
Jim, lucky


Though the habit of blue eye shadow, usually cyclical in its popularity, had not been in vogue for several decades.Collapse )

I don't have a cataterpillar update, so here's a picture of Eugene Hutz, who Semna is based off of. And some advice, try reading Semna out loud in a Ukrainian or bad French accent. It's pretty great.

Have a great weekend!

JLB

ST fic: Wonderful 5/?

Title: Wonderful
Author: baehj2915
Pairing: K/S, nuTrek
Rating: NC-17, eventually, for sex and swearing.
Disclaimer: Know nothing, own nothing, I don’t mean anything by this, etc., etc. ST XI and vague references to TOS.
Summary/Warnings: Jim is apologizing all the time, mostly for his testicles. Uhura's hair gets insulted, but she is still styling. Gender nonsense, bad translations and repressed emotions within. Romancing to follow.

Spock and Jim, exploring
Spock, begrudging
Jim, pushing
Spock, naked


It was the high water mark of some truly Class A douche material.Collapse )

And on that awkward musical cue, adorable chibs!!! cataterpillar: The Pants Prevarication

Enjoy! (In Abreha: Please be enjoying this comical prelude to sexings!)

JLB

more ST porn

Title: Man of My Dreams
Author: baehj2915
Pairing: K/S, dream!bottom!Spock
Rating: NC-17, masturbation and explicit wet dreams
Disclaimer: Know nothing, own nothing, I don’t mean anything by this, etc., etc. ST XI.
Summary/Warnings: Jim emits things from his subconscious nocturnally.

Masturbation!Collapse )

:D

JLB
It makes it a lot easier to deal with.


Thank you, Lady Gaga, for informing our nation's youth what vampire stories are all about. Campy bad-acting, sexiness, men in eyeliner, gays and bondage. Isn't that right, guys?

Photobucket

Yes, it is.

Star Trek Porn! In Threes!

Title: A Cup of Sugar, Baby
Author: baehj2915
Pairing: K/S, bottom!Spock
Rating: NC-17, straight up sex, yo.
Disclaimer: Know nothing, own nothing, I don’t mean anything by this, etc., etc. ST XI.
Summary/Warnings: Testing Spock's limits. With food. Jim likes the novelty. This is a feeder/eater kink.

Pornography!Collapse )

:D :D ;D

JLB

Star Trek Porn! Parte Dos!

Title: Casual
Author: baehj2915
Pairing: McCoy/Kirk, mentions of girl!Spock
Rating: NC-17, straight up sex, yo.
Disclaimer: Know nothing, own nothing, I don’t mean anything by this, etc., etc. ST XI.
Summary/Warnings: Bones POV. Excerpt from something I will never finish. Sometimes friends just bone their friends. It's completely normal.


Sodomy!Collapse )

:D ;D

JLB

Star Trek Porn!

Title: Follow the Leader
Author: baehj2915
Pairing: K/S, bottom Kirk
Rating: NC-17, straight up sex, yo.
Disclaimer: Know nothing, own nothing, I don’t mean anything by this, etc., etc. ST XI.
Summary/Warnings: Spock POV. Jim isn't very good at following directions, but Spock really likes that anyway.


SexesesCollapse )

:D

JLB

Quoth the Movie

Guard: Don't fight it son. Confess quickly! If you hold out too long you could jeopardize your credit rating.

Sam Lowry: I only know you got the wrong man.
Jack Lint: Information Transit got the wrong man. I got the *right* man. The wrong one was delivered to me as the right man, I accepted him on good faith as the right man. Was I wrong?
~Brazil

FDR: A little orphan girl once told me that the sun would come out tomorrow. Her adopted father was a powerful billionaire so I suppressed the urge to laugh in her face, but now, by gum, I think she may have been on to something!
~Reefer Madness: the Movie Musical

V: ... the only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous..
~V for Vendetta

Dil: I'm loud, darling, but never cheap.
~The Crying Game

Mr. Lies: Respect the delicate ecology of your delusions

The Angel: American prophet tonight you become American eye that pierceth dark, American heart hot full for truth.
~Angels in America

Marc Blitzstein: I am faithful to the ideals of the party.
Orson Welles: I am faithful to the party of ideas.
John Houseman: You are faithful to the idea of a party.
~Cradle Will Rock

Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Count Rugen: Stop saying that!

Vizzini: You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line
~The Princess Bride

Sam Diamond: The last time that I trusted a dame was in Paris in 1940. She said she was going out to get a bottle of wine. Two hours later, the Germans marched into France.

~Murder by Death

[Searching for the sure-fire flop]
Max Bialystock: "Gregor Samsa awoke one morning to discover that he had been transformed into a giant cockroach." Nah, it's too good.

Max Bialystock: You have exactly ten seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect!
~The Producers

A Jewish Barber: I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another...
~The Great Dictator

Skip Collins: Dearest Judge...
Judge: Excuse me?
Skip Collins: My client...
[whispering]
Skip Collins: name?
Lace: Oh, um, Lace.
Skip Collins: Miss Lace, was engaged in a consensual servicing of an entrapable member...
Judge: Are you an attorney?
Skip Collins: [smiles] Touche, your highness.

Alice Collins: [referring to Judy, Lucy's girlfriend] I really can't believe you brought her.
Lucy Collins: Hello, Alice.
Alice Collins: No, it's just, I thought you'd come alone. It's family.
Lucy Collins: Are you starting already?
Alice Collins: Oh, no, no, no. Its just it didn't occur to me to bring my sex toy. Did you bring any sex toys?
Lucy Collins: You wouldn't know a sex toy if it left a battery in your vagina.
~Eulogy

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